We’re in this weird stage of our life where we don’t quite fit in as adults, and we’re definitely not in with the bar star College kids.
Or are we?:
No. No, we’re definitely not.
When you’re around 19-21 year olds all you can think is:
When you’re around an adult audience, you’re definitely not there yet either! Oh your kids have are home sick? My best suggestion is some Flinstone’s vitamins.
We all have practiced this look when either group talks about something you can’t relate to:
EDM DJ’s? Oh.. yeah.. that can be kinda fun?
Place settings at your wedding? Hmm, I’m sure Pinterest could help you out with that?
Just keep doing what you’re doing! My opinion? Oh.. no you got this!
Take last night for example.. I, the extremely sober DD, was escorting a couple of 85′ girlfriends to the drunk food establishments, as we began getting pestered by a couple of boys born in 98′.
I have zero patience for five foot nothing over-confident teenagers commenting on how they would, “sooooo bang that chick”.
In heels, I’m standing at a strong 5’11. In what world does a 5’5 18 year old who started growing a bit of peach fuzz think he can stand behind me assessing my ass while I try to order a pita? Oh THIS world.
I love a good standoff with a guy who wants to humiliate me with sexual innuendos.
I’m full of really strong comebacks that will leave anyone speechless:
To which said boys respond to my incredibly tall attractive friend who is sporting sexy army pants, “WE CAN SEE YOU CAMO”.
“OF COURSE YOU CAN! WHERE AM I GOING TO HIDE I’M 6 FEET TALL”.
Nothing like a little stranger arguing to realize you might all be too old for this shit.
WHERE DO I BELONG?!
You belong at home in bed with an oreo mcflurry and a smile.
You’re in no man’s land.
You like tequila shots, but always regret it the next day. However, You absolutely REFUSE to purchase Smirnoff Vodka and shudder when the bar stars down it.
You like socializing at a pub, but you almost would prefer to be at home, in your bed, getting a good nights rest with your fuzzy blankets.
NEWS FLASH. You’re completely indecisive about what you want in MOST aspects of your life and tend to jump around a lot.
You really can relate to the adults now when they’re talking about “claiming meals” and “saving gas receipts”. I mean, you don’t do it, but you unnnnnnnnnnderstand it.
You can definitely lend an ear to adults when they talk about their ex husbands, marital issues, or the trials of raising kids.
I mean, you don’t necessarily have anything to contribute except, leave that loser! Followed up with:
Lets rebuild that self confidence together! YOU DON’T NEED A MAN KAREN!
IF I CAN DO IT SO CAN YOU.
To which Karen replies with, yeah but like, you don’t have a mortgage and 4 kids.
Oh right. I thought we were being encouraging here, ya girl I can’t help with that, start a happy show maybe?
This is where the understanding nod comes in:
That sucks. I care about you. I cannot help you. We should get some food and forget about this.
But all adults want to eat is SALAD and HEALTHY GREENS.
That’s where you’re back on team teenager.
I microwaved a baked potato for breakfast and my best friend had some sour keys. If you ask me to babysit your child, it’s getting a bowl of teddy grahams & milk.
I like take-out food and ramen noodles.
I also am known to only eat cheese and pasta. I am an anomaly to doctors following a strict Gilmore Girl’s diet of burgers and pop tarts.
I don’t mind broccoli, as long as it’s eaten with noodles.
I do not like to get food shamed, I can do that to myself THANK YOU.
The way I look at it, my mother’s lucky she didn’t raise a daughter with an eating disorder, unless you count overeating, which yeah, won’t be much of a problem until I’m out of this teenager/adult transition phase. I KNOW KAREN, I won’t be able to eat like this forever, I’ve heard from Susan.
There’s no doubt that somebody could lecture me all day about my funny life choices, but what fun is that?
Some of us have common issues that we can all discuss. It almost doesn’t matter if you’re a teenager or an adult, we’re all tight on money!
We can all relate to this conversation. There’s nobody nodding off at this one thinkin’ haha not this kid! Just need to go home and groom my money tree.
Our broke-ness motivates us to work hard and have actual goals.
It’s basically do or die.
Do I want crackers for dinner or do I want chicken parm?
You ever been so broke you had air for dinner? I have an extremely helpful family so in my case no, but the way I manage my money, I SHOULD HAVE!
You have to be able to take care of yourself as if no one else is around!
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the young generation & the older generation, it’s that finances are e v e r y t h i n g.
Being a financially stable person on your own is a major priority.
This is difficult because most often, our passions don’t pay us very much at the start…
Believe me, some days, wouldn’t we all love to pack it in and marry rich? Have the financial backing to pursue our passions in peace? Oh right, but then we JUST HAVE TO get all invested in laughing with someone who’s just as broke as our sorry asses. Damn it.
Some of us don’t get invested in anyone at all. We just admire from afar the financially successful couples who have it all.
Ugh you guys are awesome. Even if you are just as broke as me.
But, equally as awesome, the freeeeeeeedom that comes with us single ones. Liiiiiike if I wanna spend all my money on a castle built of mcnuggets? Who’s gonna stop me? Not some silly fuck boy with advice like, “you need money in your account for your car payments” that’s for sure.
But you definitely have sound financial advice for others:
I really don’t know why you needed me to tell you that?
It’s kinda fun being the youth in the adult world. You really can fit in with both sides.
You can laugh about how introverted you want to be, holed up in your room watching netflix (also a good way to manage money as long as take-out is avoided).
Then you can be at a crowded pub with all of your friends and feel like you belong in this world too? EXCEPT when people bump into you, that shit is NOT ok.
You want to grind into me to start a conversation at an irish pub?? This is not a club for a reason. Get out of my personal space. I really really hate being touched by strangers. Your beer is getting spilled all over yourself, you’re smelling weird smells. Then they finally come up and talk to you, unless they’re super friendly and innocent:
This is the point where you relate to the adults again & start thinking I DON’T BELONG HERE. I BELONG AT HOME IN MY SNUGGIE.
So I guess long story short, get some freakin’ hobbies & goals or you’re forever going to be a confused wide eyed twenty something, like myself.
Hope everyone’s S-Monday was anxiety free!