“I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it”- Carrie Bradshaw
The fictional Carrie Bradshaw (All hail SJP), is completely relatable to me. From her fashion choices, her dating advice, to her close relationships with her girlfriends.
Carrie has her moments of fierce confidence, yet she is also modestly insecure. Most women can find themselves possessing these polar opposite characteristics.
I myself have moments where I feel unstoppable, that contrast with my personal insecurities.
In order to maintain your warrior Beyonce Pad Thai (thank you Mindy), you must remember all the people that are rooting for you. A strong base of family members and solid friendships makes all the difference in the world.
A close family friend of mine said something that will stick with me whenever I am feeling discouraged. I hope that you too can use this advice whenever you have something tough that you need to conquer. In order to understand the context of this quote, begin with checking out this photograph.
There will always be people who want you to be tame. A boss, a parent, or a friend. It’s funny because we let these people inside of our heads.
We all have those moments of weakness and luckily, you might have family or friends that give you strength. My parents inspire me to work hard to earn your living through their own gains with their personal businesses. My brother inspires me to move to the city and live. My second brother inspires me to attain a challenging career. My brother’s girlfriend, who recently has had the opportunity to be an extra on the new television series, “Reign”, inspires me to go after your dreams. My other brother’s girlfriend inspires me to be an excellent daughter, girlfriend, and an overall giving person. My boyfriend/best friend inspires me to love life and be silly. My best friends inspire me to live in the moment, have fun, and live an active lifestyle. These people are my rocks. I think of them when I doubt myself.
Because in reality, we are all insecure. Sometimes people’s insecurities will affect the way that they treat you.
My mother tells me to never compromise the person that you are. She often remarks, “You are a strong, wonderful, loveable person and if other people can’t see that, well, fuck ’em!” My mother and I have a very “Gilmore Girls” relationship.
My mother and I believe in putting other people first. We are giving, welcoming people. We have a more the merrier mentality, where she insists on inviting all of our friends to holiday dinners, and I insist on including every friend of mine in my plans. We overthink on gifts. I often overspend on birthdays and worry about buying a thoughtful gift for every person in my life. My mom always overdoes Christmas, making sure that when we were kids, I was given the new Barbie whose hair colour was changeable, and Kyle was given his NBA computer game. She has always put her kids happiness above her own, like most parents that I know. She wanted better for us than she had, and often runs herself dry trying to keep all of us happy.
We are far from perfect. Our house is like the Gilmore’s because takeout and junk food is often a better option than our unpredictable cooking. A movie night in together is better than leaving the house. Broken things stay broken until it is absolutely necessary they are replaced (we actually have not been able to use our front door in months because the lock is broken). Our gardens have weeds in them, and our grass is not the greenest on the block. Our house is built for comfort rather than for style (quirky items often win).
We have terrible memories, and are always running late. My mom spends too much money keeping the fridge full and the beer and wine stocked for us and our guests. We share everything. We, like you, are imperfect, but loveable people.
I think that our quirkiness is something that should shine rather than be crushed. I like living in the house where you can have your feet up on the furniture and eat food on the couches or upstairs! As a child, I had a friend where we had to put our drinks in sippy cups if we wanted to be in the living room, long past the age where we should have been drinking out of sippy cups. I understand where their family was coming from to an extent because I am the clumsiest person that I know (
nail polish on mom’s carpet).
I will never forget the regret I felt when I accidentally knocked over this friend’s sea monkey’s into her mother’s carpet, and her mother yelling at me to grab a towel. As a seven year old this was a shocking reality check. I was different than other people, I made a ton of mistakes. But I always had good intentions, I felt as terrible for knocking the sea monkeys over as I did for accidentally tripping a woman in ball hockey last week. I have a kindhearted soul, as do many of the people that I surround myself with.
This confidence in myself as a genuine, unique person, gives me strength.
So back to the advice that my friend gave me. While you may want to stay in and hide, blend in with the crowd, or be the sheep that people want you to be, you can’t. When someone wants you to be black and white, you go to that damn event in your electric blue dress.
Kailey Klempner, BA